Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize