Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
