It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
