i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
