He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
