She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
