I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
