I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
