I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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