It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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