Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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