Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
