Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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