I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
