She is in my trunk
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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