I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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