Taylor Swift is so right about you.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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