Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize