i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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