3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Sex in the backyard? Check.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
