Whod you bang
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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