Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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