so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
