Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
