this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
