Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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