your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
