i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
im holly from the hills drunk
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
These tits shall not be calmed
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
