I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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