Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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