i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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