K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Randomize
