I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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