her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
