You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
