hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize