K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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