It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize