woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
