So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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