Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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