how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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