dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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