Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
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