She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
