things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
