I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
