Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
