I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
