the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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