We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
