i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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