How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Congratulations! We have a period
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