we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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