Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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