i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
