Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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