I heard we made out
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
