Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
