I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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