and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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