put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
