I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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