...so i touched it.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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